Here we go again! UGH!

Long story short... I have had a tubal REVERSAL...and am TRYING to get pregnant....but can't seem to cycle...it's been two months since I have gotten a cycle! Very frustrating!! So, I can't afford to see the Dr. who did the surgery as my ins. won't cover it...so I went to the clinic..and they did nothing!! She told me I am fat and old. I can do nothing about my age, which thirty is NOT old...but I can TRY to do something about my weight.....again....! Which brings me to the reason for this blog post and the ones to come...TRYING to get healthy with WW. I did WW before, so I know the basics of the program...and am trying to do it well. I did it all last week and only lost one pound....UGH! I worked SO hard and lost only one pound. I guess I need to back up and look at things a different way...at the Dr appt (at the clinic) I weighed 210...EEKK! and now I weight 206...still EEKK!....but at least 4 pounds are gone! :) It has been a week and a half since the Dr. appt. I was going to weigh myself on Monday morning...but am seeing that is not going to work, so I am going to change it to Fridays. We shall see. I am feeling dumpy because I paid $15,000 out of pocket for the reversal, and I feel like I put my family in a bad spot...I can't cycle, if I can't cycle, I can't get pregnant! A lot of people I know are pregnant, at church, and family members... I am feeling jealous and that is not a good thing. It does NOT honor God...at all... I feel depressed....not honoring to God at all... I could go on and on...but that will do no good. I need to be prayerful and grateful for all He has done for me! We are adopting 5 kids on Nov. 20th!! That is amazing and wonderful! Two of my 7 kids just had Birthdays! We took a fun day trip! There is so much to praise God about, I am just really hung up on the negative and it is creating stress in more ways than I can count. It's gotta end! Now I am off to another full day of school, kids, and life!