Wednesday, December 15, 2010
So Hurt!
Right now I am absolutely crushed. I am so sick of people treating my 5 adopted kids as if they are not "my own" kids! So many family members are making them feel as if they are not "really" part of our "family". One said to me.." All 7 kids will have the same number of gifts at Christmas, but I won't spend the same on "them" as I do the 2 birth kids."!! WHAT! Another family member wanted to just give plastic gift cards to the adopted kids and a gift to the "real" kids (their words)! WHAT!! and the last straw just broke...I just got word that my own brother and his wife are also segregating my adopted kids...and wanted to give the 5 nieces and nephews born into the family a nice and special gift, while they give the adopted kids a piece of plastic! It is not about gifts...I could care less if my kids get any gifts at all...I would actually prefer they don't! Especially since it is causing such problems! What kind of person could look at these beautiful orphaned kids as lowly...not good enough for equal treatment! These 5 kids, you know the "others", these are the ones who were nearly starved to death, raped, beaten, ridiculed, and abandoned....they should be the ones who get the special gifts...just for surviving their circumstances!! I'll tell you another thing...these people in my "family" have said to me....they said "These kids have never had a big Christmas before, so they won't know the difference!" I am SHOCKED at the mindset of these ignorant people, and since they are my family, my heart is totally broken. How am I going to realistically explain this to the 10 and under crew about the visable difference in their treatment...from people they love and who claim to love them?? One grandma still can't even say all their names right! They have been here for years! People are the most important thing...hearts...I wish I knew what to do...how to handle this...the tears just won't stop flowing...the kids see my heart broken...When did CHRISTmas turn into this mess? All I want is to rejoice in the birth of my Lord...not feel like this. Any suggestions on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated!
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My heart is braking, tears are flowing and I have no clue what else they praying can be done, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!
ReplyDeleteYou have to speak the truth in love to your relatives as hard as it may be. These are all your children...birthed out of the same Mothers love straight from your heart. If they won't hear the truth then forgive as much as humanly possible...maybe just tell them that from now on one group family gift would be better like a game or a few family friendly DVD's or a stack of read aloud books. This is so unfair and just stinks :( Maybe they really just don't realise how very much this is hurting you and your family? Maybe they are too ashamed to admit they can not afford gifts for all so somehow to them they can justify such harsh behavior??? I don't know...just bouncing ideas around. BIG HUGE (((HUGS))) from Ohio. I will be praying for support, wisdom, strength, and courage and may the Holy Spirit give you annointed words to share that may be heard!
ReplyDeleteWow, Kim. I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. I will pray for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteOh, Kim, this just crushes me. How do you show graciousness to THAT? Praying for you.....
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for you and your children! Other than talking with your family to make sure they know how you feel and praying about it, I can't think of much else to suggest for you. I will pray for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much! Your prayers will help!
ReplyDeleteOh Kim. I am so sorry to read this. I was just on here peaking around and saw this. I think it is because people just don't value children as blessings anymore. In our little home church fellowship there are three families out of the six that have adopted, so far. Their families all value these children like they are their own flesh and blood. I am sorry to hear this about yours. Why would they even tell you these things? I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteJust tell them to not tell you these things.
For what it is worth, some of my children get gift cards for Christmas as well, but they are teens. They love them at that age!