Adoption/Foster Care & Our Story

This is something God has put on my heart to share... not sure why, maybe someone is meant to read this or maybe it is a reminder to myself...I don't know. Talking about what my kids have gone through is VERY taxing on me...I am going to split their stories up. First of all, I am NOT trying to convince anyone else to do foster care or adopt...but I DO want people to be aware of what REAL kids are living with in our country...right in your own town...if you don't know..you don't know. I always felt badly for abused kids, but never really knew what they were going through...really. I will start with the story of my girls. We adopted three young girls through the foster care system and here is their story...it is a reflection on their strength and their survival skills. PLEASE know...this in NO WAY has ANYTHING to do with me...this is all God! People are always saying how wonderful we are because we adopt abused kids and foster many abused kids...it's not us...it's God! Here goes...

The parents of our girls had birthed 4 children...all girls. They were wild people with mental health problems. The mother had these 4 children with 3 different men. And often the men would molest the children..and it was OK with mom, it seems. The living conditions were what got CYS called out in the first place. The places they would live would look like this...just to give you a mental picture...in the reports it stated that there were open (huge) holes in the ceiling that let the weather come in...so imagine...it would rain and snow IN their house! They let the animals potty all through the home and never cleaned it up...hence maggots everywhere. They had no running water so the toilet was FULL to the TOP of "you know what"...which lead to using buckets and children "going" on the floor. They never did dishes, so there was moldy food all over...cigarette butts everywhere...and there was actually a nest of RATS living in one of my daughter's bed mattress! My youngest daughter was a baby at the time and her bed sheet was crunchy with dried urine. The smallest girls had awful rashes as they were never cared for. Cockroaches were many...so much the children (reportedly) smelled very strongly like cockroach dung. They smelled so bad they were forced to shower at school and later the lawyer that was helping them couldn't stomach the smell...he required that the children go to the CYS office and shower before entering his office! This is how they lived...this was really their home. Their parents were so mean and cruel, they would starve the children and then buy steak and ice cream and eat it in front of them. they would feed them ramen noodles every few days. My youngest daughter hardly ever got formula...they gave her mostly water in her bottle. All of my three girls are very small...my 8 yr old is of avg. weight now...but wasn't before...and my 6 yr old weighs only 36 lbs...and my 4 year old only 27 lbs. The just didn't grow because there was no nourishment! The parents would leave the children all the time in the hands of teen boys who were not caring for the in the right way...if you know what I mean. The parents would leave and lock them in the house. The parents forced them to watch pornography with them...the list goes on and on. The children had ill fitting clothes and they were VERY smelly and gross. They were made fun of at school. So, My oldest daughter (the second oldest out of the four) finally spoke up and the children were eventually removed from the home and put in foster care. The parents had visits with the kids but REALLY made it clear they hated my oldest daughter (my oldest of the adopted girls, I have a BIO daughter who is older) and ignored her fully. All of her siblings blamed her for the removal. They wanted to go home! Eventually the children went home...a few months later they were removed again because of the same stuff as before...so they were put back in care...all 4 of them together. Later they were split up as their needs were too great and one family couldn't put all the pieces back together and the kids were fighting with each other...and the oldest girl was in the parent role and it was abusive and messed up. From there my oldest daughter (the second oldest if the 4 girls) went to live with her birth dad...it didn't last only 2 weeks...then back to foster care....then with an aunt...didn't work...back to foster care...then with another who wanted to adopt her....didn't work...back to foster care...another family...back to foster care...then here. WOW! Her behavior is SO hard to handle that the other homes gave up....she makes it hard to love her. This is her defense....her survival mechanism. To this day she has been acting up daily since October when she got some news about her family...she is pushing us away to see if we will let her down, abuse her, and send her away. The other two smaller girls went to a foster home that couldn't have kids...and they didn't like the older of the two and blamed her for all the troubles the kids would get into...so she came to us angry and bratty...she is sweet and nice now. The youngest they had convinced she was a baby and a princess and she didn't have to listen to anyone! She told me this all the time! She is very small, so she looks like a baby...she's 4 and I just put away her 24 month clothes! She would tell me that she NEEDED to be a baby ans sit in a highchair, sleep in a crib...and poop her pants. She is now a normally functioning child...who delights in being a big girl! I left out some of the gory details to save embarrassment for the children...but you get the picture, I think. I am so grateful to God for bringing these girls into my family's life! I feel so blessed that God chose to have these precious children live here...and that He chose for me to be their mommy...forever! It's a scary thing...their birth parents have tried to even kidnap them before...but God will take care of us. I shared this with you not to make you feel sorry for these kids and other abused kids... It was a prompting from the Lord...and I am very pro-active where adoption and foster care are concerned. I want to raise awareness of the needs in our own communities...this is my mission field....God has blessed us beyond what I could ever dream of! This has not been an easy journey and is not without issues even now. These kids have major issues due to the abuse they have suffered....it breaks my heart...but God can mend their hearts.