My Testimony

Recently,I have come across some people who God brought to us so we could share our testimony with them for their benefit of seeing what God can truly do. I also have been told from a lady that she was embarrassed to share her testimony fully as she feared judgement from others. Are we to fear people's judgement? There is no shame in your life before salvation....after you become saved you are white as snow! I lived an "awful" life of sin before coming to Christ and I would like to share that with you today....maybe God will use my "life story" to help someone else :0) I have no shame in telling you

I was born into a dysfunctional family...always fighting...my father was abusive and my mother spineless. They had 4 children, the first was great and could do no wrong...until the day he fell in love with a pastor's daughter and got married...the next children were a set of twins. My father seemed to not like them much as they got older and was not nice to them...at all. Then I came along 5 years later as a surprise. My parents treated me like their friend most of the time. I was "forgotten"...I see that now. They would just leave for months at a time when I was about 13 or 14 yrs old....they would leave me with my sister...and leave some money on the table to get me through. When I was about 15 things started going "down hill"...I was drinking, doing drugs and dating only MEN who were 21 or older so they could buy beer. It was sad! I was out of control! I then was dating a decent guy who I had manipulated into thinking I cared for him...I was cheating on him...with my now husband. I have been with Rob since the day I met him, so that was good. I was 15 and he was 23...he was also drinking and doing drugs. He is an alcoholic. My parents were so into themselves they had no clue . I would leave on Friday night and not come home until Sunday night....no questions asked. I would even come home high or drunk and it was not questioned. they would just give me money and that was that. My mom and I would hang outand have fun from time to time....but they were enjoying their "own" life at this point. They are not saved people...I do not hold this against them. Now that I could drive...when they would leave for months...they would just leave....they would leave me lots of money...and go. During these times I would live with my boyfriend (now husband) and not go to school...or go high. I went to school on acid everyday for about a month! I was driving while on an acid trip...daily! I am so luck to be alive. I would get lost on the way to school or home because I was so impeard. Nobody at school cared enough to step up and ask me what was going on or think to tell my folks. One teacher in my whole life ever even talked to me about drugs...and I still want to thank him. My parents had no clue or just didn't care who was buying my clothes, food, and gas from the time I was 15 until my senior year. they didn't know about Rob. He took care of me. they never even saw any of my report cards! I can't believe I even graduated! rob was still drinking....a LOT...and had been in jail, and was just a mess. We go married right after I got done with high school. On our homey moon we got pregnant with Ashley. I STOPPED drinking and doing drugs at the moment I found out I was pregnant. He was still drinking...and I finally saw what was there....it was crushing. From there our life turned into an episode of Jerry Springer! Rob was drunk ALL the time. I was so scared. I thought he would drop the baby or end up hurting her because he was drunk...we worked different shifts, I was second shift, so he cared for her in the evenings while I was at work. I was not perfect either. I was still drinking and doing drugs (after Ash was born) on rare occasion. During this time I was unfaithful to my husband. My thinking was this....he was drunk all the time and I hated being his wife, so I tried to find love else where...I was with a guy (but still with Rob too) who was no better....I had moved out and would just meet Rob as we would pass Ash off when we would switch shifts. I was so worried about her that in the middle of my shift, quit my job and went home to her because Rob was so drunk he couldn't even walk. It was terrified. When I got home I caught him with another woman. This opened my eyes and I cut off my other relationship and focused on Rob...he agreed to not see the other woman again. He was still drinking...it was worse than ever before...as an example, I had to drag him out of the bathtub after he passed out so he wouldn't drown...I then found out I was pregnant again. I was so excited. things went even worse. Rob totaled our car...he didn't have a license as it was revoked due to too many DUI's. He was hurt, I was scared...we knew he would have to go to jail. We appealed the court for over a year. He was not in jail for Ty's birth. But he did miss Ty's first birthday. During the time Rob was in jail it was so hard. Ty was sick...he had stomach issues and had to go to specialists 2 hours away...I had to take care of the kids, the home, cut the grass...etc...and take Rob back and forth to jail and work. He was on work release. So, think about this...I was 21...a husband in jail...2 kids...and had to do all the work, and get to the jail (which was 1/2 hr away) by 5:00 am...take Rob to work...pick him up fro work and then back to jail...it was hard! But here the good part....before rob went to jail...God got ahold of him...he quit drinking and smoking all in ONE day! He came home from work, sat on the bench to take his boots off and announced he was done drinking and smoking! He got REALLY sick, it was so sad. But he did it...really did it! Around the same time my SIL asked me if I was saved? I honestly didn't know what that meant! She explained and through the next few days had led me to Christ! So, the entire time Rob was in jail, we were saved and more in love than ever! God worked on our restoration during that time and it was amazing! After he got out of jail, the day he came home, Ashley was afraid of him and screamed at him "your not my daddy!"..."My daddy is away at work!"...she had not seen her dad in months and couldn't remember what he looked like. He had never been so hurt in his life...and that was all it took for him to know he would never go back to that life again. And either would I! He was on house arrest for a month after he got out of jail and it was the BEST month ever! From there we decided to do foster care so we could share our story with teens. We wanted them to know there was another side to life other than drugs and alcohol. and we did. We did teen girls for 5 years. These were the kids that were so "bad" the counties couldn't place them...so we took them. It was great! From there we settled into our church...we teach Sunday School, Rob is an usher at church, we still do foster care... and God saw it fit for us to be blessed with 5 kids to adopt! You see, God can do ANYTHING! Some people think that their sins are too big to be forgiven...they are not. God forgave us for our sins...and as you read....they were many...and "big"! He not only forgave us, but used us to further His kingdom! He has blessed us so much....and blessed us with this testimony to share....without shame. How can there be shame in what God has done? I am a sinner saved by grace!