The heart of a Mother

Well, as many of you may know, DH and I are foster parents. We take our job (calling) very seriously and love each child that comes through our home. A few years ago (5) we met and took care of a young teenage girl. We loved her as our own...she lived with us for about 3 years, then she had some personal issues and it was not a good thing for my own kids to be around, so she moved out. We have always kept in close contact with her after she moved out....until the last few months. She had been living with her boyfriend and his parents, had finally graduated school, and had a good job at a Walmart...she was thinking of doing an online college too...since we didn't agree with her life choices and she would not stop lying and doing things that would endanger the welfare of my kids...we couldn't let her live here...tough love, they call it. Well, I'm not so sure that was right now. she took off a few months ago, and didn't tell us where she was going, or that she was going at all! She broke up with her longtime boyfriend and took and got married to some guy we have never met and moved to a different state! My heart is so broken...for me...for my husband...for my kids...but mostly for her...it is so sad that she didn't feel enough of a connection with us, as her "parents"...as she didn't have any of her own...to involve us. Did she think I would yell at her or disapprove? Or was she just being selfish and not caring about anyone else, her youth getting in her way...love blinding her? I am so saddened by my actions...I was not nearly as supportive as I should have been...I can see that God is teaching me through this to not give up on pepole...EVER...yes, I did pray for this girl...but did I DO anything? Not really. SHE needed ME and hubby to be her family...and we didn't do as we should have because it was "too hard"... I am being brutally honest with myself, I never saw it this way before. I honestly thought we did what was right in God's eyes...He just wasn't ready to show me how wrong I was until now. I am so thankful for God's rebuking and teaching. I know this is not easy, but I am really going to try to look past the hurt and anger about being left out of her life and persevere....I WILL be a mom to her... I will support her even when it's hard and try to guide and train her in the ways of the Lord. She claims to be saved, she got baptized and was in church 2c a week while she lived here...did she learn anything? Did she really accept the Lord? Only He knows. But I KNOW we are to spread the Good News...and I will. I will try to reach out to her and her new husband, and love her even when it's "too hard". What an excuse, right? I am so ashamed of myself...there are not even words to tell you how much.