new blog

I started a new blog that better reflects where I am in life :0)

www.kim-frugalmomofmany.blogspot.com

My Flesh

My flesh is so strong and my faith so weak at times....sometimes I still get selfish and bitter....mostly when sleep is involved! Here's how it all played out...Sat. night, around 3:30 my 3yr old woke me up by poking me and telling me the monster in his room "made-ed" him sick....I thought he was being a silly 3 yr old & I put him back to bed. An hour later he woke up and was suffering from his asthma and had a high fever! 3 more kids woke up sick with fever and headaches. The day was long...Rob & I didn't feel well either. That night (Sunday) was awful! I was up 2 times with Savannah....2 times with Kate, 1 time with Ty, and about a hundred times with Colton, and up with the dog. Not to mention all the times I just checked on them all. I am their mom...this is my God given job. At this point I was starting to get REALLY tired and REALLY grumpy....especially at that big guy snoring next to me! Was any of this my husbands fault? No! Was it his fault he didn't hear any of this "action" through the night? No! Could I have simply woken him up to ask for some help? Yes! He would have done so gladly. But instead....I fed my flesh. I got mad, and selfish, and greedy....God got a hold of me though :0) He is faithful! As I laid there (everyone settled in for the night at about 4:00 am, and I get up for the day at 4:30 am!) I looked at the love of my life and God helped my heart soften to my situation...and I was no longer angry....tired, yes....angry, no! I realized I love that my kids want ME when they are sick...my heart would be twice as broken and hurt if they wanted anyone else! I am blessed to be young and able to go with little sleep. It took all of that just to see what God was showing me....

My kids are all better now...and we are all caught up on our sleep! Life is normal again :0)

Mommy Moments

Mommy moments....ahh....there are many! I LOVE being a mommy, it's the best thing I have ever been a part of! I feel so blessed to have 7 great kids so far. God is good! With that being said...I thought I would give you a glimpse into my "mommy moments".....my real life.

The things I say the most are:

1. I love you

2. great job!

3. good morning....did you pee your pants? always said in the same breath....always fearing the answer!

4. Did that come from your nose?

5. Go wash your hands....don't touch anything on your way to the sink!

6. What are you eating and where did you find it? Oh...spit it out....NOW!

7. Ash, Ty, Vanna, Kyara, Cyle, Kate...I mean COLTON! Sad, but true, I cannot remember my own children's names. The one who's name I am trying to remember and say just stands there watching all their siblings come out of the woodwork to see what I want...while they patiently wait for me to remember their name.

8. Get out of the garden

9. Can I pray with you?

10. Come give your mama a big hug! Always said with a smile!

Some of the crazy things I do during my "mommy moments" are:

1. forgetting to do a headcount until we are 10 minutes away from home...then we turn around and get missing oldest child...

2. forget to ask if everyone has shoes on until we are well on our way....I think this is a ploy for them to get new shoes!

3. One time we had a man from church over for dinner and we sat down, prayed, and began our meals...a few minutes passed and we realized we forgot to give the man a plate of food!

4. standing next to any given child, having a conversation, and then yell thier name for them to come to you...yup, they are standing right next to me already...why in the world can't I remember these people! LOL....just kidding...I know very well who they are....lol

5. We sing before we eat breakfast....we sing "This is the day"

6. We love to have our children pray for our meals, not just Daddy

7. We don't "do" any youth programs at church....well, we do the Christmas play and Sunday School....but that's it.

8. We all cram in ONE small tent when we camp....children wake up ontop of each other...sometimes with a foot in thier face or an elbow in their eye....makes em' closer, right?

9. We give lots & lots of hugs at our house

10. It's nothing to find us running around our yard acting like goobers with our kids....life is FAR too short to be serious all the time!

Hope you enjoyed a small glimpse into my life as a mommy...I cherish each of these moments...what are some of yours?

How It Went Down & a Sad Story With A Happy Ending

Ok...so thanks to you all for your tips on grocery shopping!! Here's what i did...I made complete lists of what we eat for all meals...like, meatloaf, homemade bread & beans....I listed meals for all 3 meals, snacks & desserts. I picked a menu from my list, and made a grocery list from my menu! Simple & effective! I got no weird stuff...just stuff that was actually needed for the week! I tried really hard to think of everything we had going on through the week, when we were going to have company, be busy, have a vet appt...things like that. I set a budget...I did go over a bit...but I was still happy! Each week will get easier, I'm sure! So...now I know what meals I am going to make & I don't have to annoy my family with the QUESTION...you know the one, "what should we have for dinner???"! I even planned snacks! I'm sure this is second nature to some for you...but like I said before...it has been a thorn in my side for 13 years!

Now for the sad story....

the cat pictured above was Ty's beloved cat, Nala. She was a stray cat that found us 7 years ago. She and Ty were BEST friends! I have honestly never seen a human/animal relationship like the one they had. Yesterday morning at 5:15 I was walking out to the car with Rob and we were actually talking about how much the cat loved Ty, because we saw the cat across the road. Keep in mind, we live way out in the sticks, every one's animals roam freely. Well, as soon as we said that a truck went whizzing by and hit the cat...killing it. It was so sad. Ty was DEVASTATED. Long story short...we got a number from my MIL of an old lady who had a kitten dropped off at her trailer in town and she had to get rid of it. We called and went to see it. She is so cute and SMALL, She can't even be 6 weeks old. Her name is Ally and she is the newest member of our family! She's so sweet and we love her. We are really missing Nala, but this has helped the kids some.

Another bit of sad news....I have had my dog, Casey, for 14 years...he is starting to loose his functions. We are going to the vet tonight to see what can be done for him. We are hoping he will be able to take a pill to control his bladder, but we need to check on his overall health. Please pray for us today, he goes to the vet at 3:30.

There always seems to be so much going on....but I feel so blessed to be able to see God's Hand in it all. I watched yesterday as God put amazing people and events into ty's life yesterday to just encompass him in love....like this, the McDonalds cashier couldn't find the toy Ty wanted with his Mighty Kids meal (grandma & grandpa ttok him to lunch) so he bought him a hot fudge sundae from his own pocket! God's grace is amazing....all the time.

My Current Issue

Ok.... my current issue is this....where and how to buy my groceries! I had been doing my food shopping at Sam's Club & I LOVE it. BUT...it's an hour away, and a HUGE inconvenience to get there...even doing "click & pull", and since they don't have everything I need, I'm still forced to go to Walmart through each week. I feel like I don't have any "control" or organization in the food department as of late. I think a lot has to do with Ashley starting to prepare a lot of foods and meals...so she may use something that I had bought for another reason, and then we end up with random things in the pantry! My pantry is big and has lots of shelves, it's not beautiful, but very functional...so I have room, that's not the issue.

So, what am I going to do? Today I organized & cleaned the pantry...put like things in labeled bins...that was fun! I am even having a bin for ingredients that are "saved" for something I want to make. I have a bin for "lunch extras", "snacks", & much more! I am thrilled! But, as thrilled as I am with the pantry, I still have to keep it full....which means food shopping. Where shall I go? What type of plan will I have? How much should I budget a week? (I have never had a food budget, but think I want to) Should I menu plan? I have some different ideas floating around my head....this issue has been a thorn in my side for 13 years! What do you do?? PLEASE help me! LOL

What's Been Going On Around Here

We had some pretty wicked storms a few weeks ago, which left us with trees to cut up and brush to drag (through shin deep wet manure, I might add! UGH) and fences to repair. The storm also fried tons of our electronics....including our computer. We have now fixed the computer and are back up and running. Other than that...we have just been busy living life :0) Summer fun!

The boys have had fun fishing with an older neighbor man. He calls and says "I wanna take the boy fishing"...and then we figure our which boy that would be! LOL....they have a great time of fellowship!!

Playing hide and seek.....you'll never see them hiding....in plain sight....in the hay! LOLJust being silly! Life is just too much fun to be serious all the time, right!

Making and eating yummy treats....and then texting daddy the pictures to make him jealous....heheheHaving dance parties!

Life is good! I'm not sure how much I will be posting anymore...it's been on my heart for a while. I'm just praying and waiting for direction. Time suckers, I must be careful about time suckers...these kiddos deserve my full attention...and hey, who would want to be stuck to a computer while all this fun was happening?? Not me! Go enjoy your day & have some fun!

Vacation

This is my youngest son on the way home from vacation! I accidentally posted the pics backwards! oops!

This is "Miles the Monster"....he lives at the race track in Dover, De....known as the "Monster Mile". It is a mile long track, and they race at pretty high speeds. The race was so awesome! We were even on tv! The people and fans were so incredible...they were appropriate and considerate of our large family. LOTS of people were looking out for the kids and made kind comments. One lady even said she was sorry for swearing in front of the kids! Another lady came up and gave them all bags of chips cause they were being so good...and the man behind us told them all he couldn't believe how well behaved they were during the 5 hour race. The guy beside us was even hanging out with colton and was letting him lean on him during the race....great people. We had awesome weather...our guy stunk~ LOL

Ryan Newman's car on pit road....Go #39~~

We took them to the beach...it was chilly...but it was their first time....amazing!

And the campground where we stayed....Jellystone Park! So super cool and fun! Our cabin was right next to Yogi the Bear's cabin! How lucky for us!! We went on hayrides with Yogi, exercised with Yogi, played basketball with Yogi and much more! The kids had a blast at the park and made new friends! We did too! It was a great vacation! God protected us and provided for us....couldn't ask for more! I could go on and on with "funny stories" about silly stuff the kids did...but I would be here all day....we had that much fun!

Frugal & From the Heart

Mother's Day and Rob's birthday fall on the same day this year... :0) I have been really working hard at making things MUCH more simple and frugal around here, so I thought of some frugal gifts that come from the heart to give on these special days...

Rob's B-day:
* kids will write and sing him a song
* We will make him a chocolate mayo cake w/ peanut butter icing...his FAVORITE!
* kids will make him cards
* I will clean his car
* we will make a video having each person state reasons why we love and appreciate him...we will watch it on the computer together, saving the money on a dvd...
* we will have a cook out for mother's day and his b-day together!

Mother's Day for my mom & my MIL
* kids will make cards
* I am going to paint a small flower pot (we have it) and have kids put their fingerprints around the rim in bright colors...we will create a Mother's Day poem and put it in the pot.
* the kids will bake something
* I will take a picture of all the kids together and print, laminate and put a magnet on the back
* I am going to put scrapbook paper in a frame and print some scripture to add to it.

For my Mother's Day
( Yes, I am planing my own day as my husband has a lot on his plate right now...and it's not his "thing"...he would spend money, and I don't want anything...just my family...but the kids will want to do something...my oldest daughter will head all of this up)
*kids make cards
*clean my can
*go for a nice drive to look for deer
*make fuse-a-bead crafts
* and the cook-out

All of these things INVOLVE the kids DOING things...not just going to the store with money and picking something out. These gifts will cost us nothing...but love and thoughtfulness :0)
I am looking forward to gearing our lives toward a more simple way of living...not everything needs to come from a store to be special!

Random Facts

I thought it would be kind of fun to get to know you all a bit better and share a few things about myself as well :0)
Random Facts About Me
1. I have blond hair and green eyes

2. I have 7 children

3. I believe in Jesus!

4. I hardly ever go to bed without my cheeks hurting from laughing so hard at my super funny husband!

5. I am plump, and don't care nearly as much as I should about that.

6. I love to ride around with my family and look for deer...we do this almost every night.

7. A goal of mine is to join actively in the fight against abortion

8. I REALLY want to adopt more kids through the foster care system

9. My favorite season is fall...or maybe winter.

10. I'm not sure if I'm going to can anything this year...gasp!

These are just random facts about me...please share about yourselves :0) Have a blessed day in the Lord!

When Daddy's Home!

When Daddy's home, what do we do??? We have a water fight inside the house, of course! Have I ever mentioned that I have the funnest husband EVER!

Portfolio

The end of school is upon us, and we are thankful :0) We love school, but this has been a crazy year! We have adopted 5 kids and did the first half of the school year with an online charter school, coming home for the second half of the school year. we enjoyed each of these things, but there was more change in this year than we are used to! LOL
At the end of each school year my state requires that every student from 3rd grade and up have an evaluation done and have a portfolio made. This is quite and undertaking and takes a bit of time. For those of you who may not know what a home school portfolio is let me explain :0) Pa state law required a portfolio containing samples of the childs work throughout the year, and other documents that are required; like a log and booklists.
I thought I would share how I put mine together :0) I have only 3 students who are required to have a portfolio made..5th grade and (2) 3rd graders. Here is a list of what I include in mine.
Math~ we use Teaching Textbooks, so I just print off and include their grade sheet..as well as 5 extras, like math worksheets or games.

English~ 8 writing samples that very in length and topic
5 grammar sheets
8 spelling tests
booklist

History~ 12-18 pages of notes

Science~ 12-18 pages of notes

Art, Music, Gym...~ I just do a simple write up on what we covered in each and include some samples of art.

Field Trip list and write up of each one

Geography~ I include maps and a write up of what ws covered.

Pa History~ I include any worksheets or essays

Civics~ write up

Safety & Health~ about 5 samples and write up

I also include as many pictures as I can...the pictures range from school things to the kids being silly. I always make sure I take lots of pictures throughout the school year! I make these up scrapbook style, so they are special.

I include my list of objectives and affadavids...and any other necessary paperwork

I include any lapbooks or other large assignments that would be interesting and show what we were covering, many subjects can be covered at one time using this style of learning!

I have created a checklist that I use to keep on track throughout the school year. I just simply know what my evaluator wants to have and through the year I keep those things in mind. As I come across a great paper to include in the portfolio I simply slip it into a folder marked portfolio and the childs name...then I immediately go to my own folder and put a checkmark next to the item that was put away. this way I always know what I have and what is still needed. I find this way to be MUCH more organized and simple than ways I did before! One year I threw all the papers into a box and had to sort through each and every paper at the end of the school year to make a portfolio! It took FOREVER and I was STRESSED to the max! this way there is little to no stress at all!! When the end of the year comes along, I just grab my folder, a binder, and page protectors...and within a few hours I am done! I know moms who stay up late and get very worked up when this time of year rolls around as they have not kept track of their days (log)...have no booklist, or papers! EEK! At the end of the year I am also ready for the next school year...I will also hand in all papers necessary for next year so we are going to be all set...books bought & plan made! Summer is for summer... not mom at the computer trying to plan next school year...I want to be in the garden and pool with my kids :0)

*** Spell check wouldn't work...be sweet...forgive any errors you may find! Thanks :0)

In the mind of a 4 yr old

Today at breakfast my 4 yr old daughter announced this... " I don't want to go to Hell of college either!" LOL....I LOVE that she is already having eternal thoughts....but college choices are bit far off, don't ya think?? hehe!!

The things we don't talk about

I am in a really bad spot right now...and am asking any who may read this to pray for me. There are many things people don't "talk" about...one thing for me is my oldest adopted daughter. Her name is Savannah. I love her with every part of my heart, but it's not enough. She has RAD (reactive attachment disorder)...she cannot attach to anyone, and is full of rage..and I am her main target. She hates me as much as I love her. Kids with RAD can't love...it hurts them to love. They can't trust...they hate. they have been hurt too much...never loved the right way. She destroys things, throws fits, and is as mean as the day is long. She will sabotage everything we try to do...just to do it. I KNOW she is hurting and want to help her. We have done therapy galore, and it seems to have been exhausted...not many people know about this or what to do about it. I have researched this disorder and it seems every story I have read has taken years to recover. Some famous people with RAD are; Adolph Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Edgar Allen Poe, Jeffery Dahmer, and Ted Bundy....and Helen Keller. Only one of those got help. Savannah has taken things to a "new level" toady...and the truth of the matter...you know...the things we don't talk about...is I am SCARED out of my wits! I am terrified that someday she'll kill us all when we sleep...I am scared that if I have another baby, she'll kill it or hurt it...I'm scared she's going to burn my house down someday, I'm sacred that she'll end up in jail for stealing or murder, I'm sacred that she'll never be able to feel real love, I'm scared for the people who try to love her, I am scared she will keep all the walls up around her heart and never let us, her family, in. I'm scared that she'll want to go be with her VERY dangerous and dysfunctional birth family if she ever ran away..would they hurt her or even kill her? Will she hurt herself? Will she ever accept Jesus? I feel SO alone...my bones hurt. I cry out to God..MANY, MANY times a day. This is MY lot..I know. We have been chosen to help and love Savannah...and we want to, we just don't know what to do??We have been trained...we have been foster parents for 8 years...we even won and award before...kids we have had were recognized and given plaques for the most changed life...what are we doing wrong? Is her damage just too much? With out Jesus, she'll never be able to pull herself out of this awful place. We are all right there with her. I'm not saying I'm spending my days walking around depressed or freaking out...not at all. I DO find joy in Jesus...in my salvation. these are all the things that creep up...the things I don't talk about. I have talked with my friends, but nobody gets it. what I wouldn't give to just have someone give me an answer...I know God has the answer, I must just not be hearing it. I just wanted to share this...this is raw and real...and I am praying that if any other parent of adopted kids is going through this they know they are not alone...this is a very real and very scary thing to live with...we are more than willing to do so, for the sake of my child and for God's glory...but that doesn't make it easy... thanks for the prayers.

My crazy life!

Our life seems to never be "normal"....lol...these beautiful young ladies have new roommates! Ducks moved into their barn! LOL...the horses are not impressed, I'm sure! LOL...I have no clue who's ducks they are, they are tame, white ducks. They are not afraid of people at all. The hens hate them and are squawking at them all the time...the ducks don't care one bit. Another funny thing, the dog doesn't care about the ducks! LOL...I wonder what's next!

What Does She See?

This is my oldest child, Ashley. She is an amazing girl...full of love and compassion for others. She is on fire for the Lord and wants to dig into His Word to learn more & more. A true gift from God. But lately, I notice she is watching me...I mean really watching me. What does she see? I can tell what she is seeing by what is happening in her life. I see many of the bad habits she has gotten from watching me. She is starting to develop an unhealthy relationship with food. This is all me. She sometimes says some of the things I say when I am exasperated...nothing horrible, just little prhases or common grumbles. I also see some of the things manifesting that I have tried, with much prayer, to instill into her life. She has a great prayer life...and is comfortable praying out loud in front of people or with a friend. She DOES NOT gossip, and will turn away from it when her peers are doing so. (I have seen that one with my own eyes). She has a heart for children who need special help and wants to adopt because of all that we as a family has gone through. The part that has got me really thinking and being very careful is I see her watching with wonder. She is watching how I interact with Rob. She was watching us embrace in the kitchen the other day...I turned around and there she sat...just watching. No expression, just watching. I have a child who has serious mental health issues and can be very frustrating to deal with, when an issue arises, I find her watching me. She has been trying to mimic how I sit and eat at the table, I don't mean mimic in the preschool way, she's floundering and trying to figure out how to do this "young lady" thing. She even answers the phone the same way I do. My point is, she is always watching me. What am I teaching and showing her? I now see that everything I do...even if I think she's not watching...matters to her. God has been laying it on my heart lately how important my job is as mom. This is new territory for me, as she is my oldest child. When they are little, you teach them and care for them, you clean them and train them in manners...and when they get bigger it seems to have changed a bit. It's like she's asking me to show her, not just tell her. I feel blessed and challenged with this awesome responsibility, and with God's help, will try my best to be up for it! I know I will fail, but God will pick up the pieces. I need and want to be prayerful about all of this...because she is watching.

Super Cool Fun!

I posted before about our vacation plans to Dover, De. for the NASCAR race....We will be gone for 4 days, and I don't want to miss that much school..so I decided we are going to make this super cool and educational! I am creating a ton of great information on NASCAR, such as; NASCAR history, famous people in NASCAR, Christians in NASCAR, NASCAR terms, NASCAR safety, our favorite drivers and their stats, the history of the racetrack we are going to, and of course we are FEATURING Ryan Newman!! We are his #1 fans I'm sure...lol...We are going to make either a cool folder for all of our info or make a lapbook. We are also going to use this trip as geography too...lots of great stuff! at the track we will also get to see the engines and safety devices used as they are on display. I am so excited I can barely stand myself...lol...

sorry

sorry the last post is all smooshed together?? Not sure why??

Today's Thoughts

I am doing lots of learning today and wanted to share what's on my mind! Fact : when you are 3 and you wear dinosaur pants and roar really loud...you are REALLY a true life dinosaur! Watch Out: It gives you a head ache and a heart attack...when things are quiet and then out of the blue you hear a dinosaur...it's a bit scary! Learning: have Rob bring ear plugs home from work...or hide the dinosaur pants! fact: Did you know when you are the "hider" in hide and seek, all you have to do is stand still and close your eyes....shhh....nobody will see you! Learning: that does NOT work...you will be found first EVERY SINGLE TIME...and you'll cry too! Question: when you are 3 and pee your pants, why do you think nobody will notice?? Watch Out: you must be always watchful...as the "pee pants kid" REALLY does not think anyone will notice, he may just plop down on the couch before you DO notice! YIKES! Maybe he should take lessons from the astronaut...hehehe... Learning: remind 3 year old to go potty before he goes out to play! Life is FULL of fun and learning...laughter and some scary moments too! they are all a gift from God! Have a great day in the Lord!!

Zip Lock Bags & God

As I was making monkey bread for breakfast this morning, I was shaking the biscuit pieces with cinnamon & sugar in a zip lock bag. I found myself thinking and chuckling about how glad I was that I trusted this zip lock bag or else I would have a real mess on my hands! That led me to think about all the other things I put my "trust" in...my vacuum, my computer, my van, my phone, my checkbook, my church, my friends...the list goes on and on...I had to evaluate where I was with God....do I trust Him more than a zip lock bag? you bet I do! The tricky part is putting things into perspective...and to not lean on the "things" that I "trust" during my daily life more than I lean on my Lord....He must be forefront in my mind...hmmm...something to think about for me today :0)

Sweet!

Today is a great day to be sweet to our husbands, is it not? :0) I am going to try to think of three sweet things to do for hubby today! I thank God everyday for hubby and pray for him lots and lots...but I want the "do" something more! Join me...do three sweet things for your loving man today and let us know what they are! 1. Got up at 4:30 am and made him his lunch for work...the sweet part was this...I went out in the snow in my pj's, wearing manure boots (it's all I could locate..lol..I mean it was 4:30!) and started his car so it would be toasty warm! 2. I am going to send him a sweet text in a few minutes telling him how much I APPRECIATE him and how much I RESPECT the man God has grown him to be. 3. And lastly, I am going to just LISTEN to him talk about work...without interruption...I am going to ask questions even though I know NOTHING about robotics or tube mills...( rob makes corrugated tubing with robotic tube mills)...we are going on a date tonight...so he will be able to control the conversation...for once..hehehe! :0) I love my man more than anything and am so blessed and thankful to God for him! Go bless your man...and have fun with it!!

When Hubby Shuts Down Plan "A"

I was working on painting the little girl's room and was at a point where I needed Rob's help...even though he has expressed to me he was not wanting to get into any projects right now. He said it was fine for me to do things that I could do by myself, he was just too busy. I think I ignored that or something....LOL....Not on purpose, I was just "focused"! The little girl's room has a very tall ceiling that is peaked and I "needed" him to paint it. That was my plan "A". I had already painted the trim, and the room looks silly as is. He said "no"! gasp! LOL...what...."no"?? Had I listened to my loving husband the FIRST time, as I should, I would not be in this "mess" of sorts! But here I am. I now have a goofy room that I cannot paint! This is my natural consequence, and I deserve it....fully! So what do you do when hubby shuts down plan "A"?? You move on to plan "B" with a more gentle and submissive spirit! And I'll guarantee that it will not involve Rob's help :) He loves to help me, don't get me wrong....but he just re-did our kitchen and since we did it as we could afford it...it took 3 months! Lots got put off during this time...all 3 of our vehicles need repair, barns need cleaned out when the manure thaws, pastures need work, hooves trimmed, etc....you know, guy stuff :0) Plan "B" looks like this.....do the best I can to make the ugly, goofy, room look pretty! LOL...I am going to HURRY and get that room done, so I don't have to think about my offense to my husband anymore! I'm so glad for a forgiving husband and mostly a forgiving God!

Dover...Here We Come!

We are SO VERY excited!! Our family members are HUGE NASCAR fans....my husband and I usually have my SIL watch the kids and we go to a race for our anniversary. God had different plans this year! She said "no, she couldn't"! GASP! We were a little shocked and bummed and j=kinda just blew it off after that...thinking we just wouldn't go this year. We then got the "brilliant" idea....let's ALL go! We looked into going to the track that we normally go to...and tickets would be over $500 for all 9 of us...ouch! That doesn't count all the other stuff...lodging, food, gas...etc. SO, we looked at other tracks and found the best deal! Dover, DE has an awesome deal....we (Rob & I) buy our tickets and all kids under 14 get in for $10~ that's IT! Our tickets were only $246! We don't get "the" seats we would have would it have just been Rob & I...we are sitting on turn 3...not great...but that's OK. It is also Ty's birthday weekend...and Savannah's is right after...we thought we should make it a big deal :0) We are going to stay at a Jellystone park for 4 days!! You know....with Yogi Bear! We rented a cabin and a campsite right next door! This is the longest vacation we have taken as a family of 9...we are thrilled and just can't wait until May 13th so we can GO!

ps...just so you know...when you watch the race on tv...and you see a really large, dorky family all decked out in Ryan Newman gear...that will take 4 of my babysitting checks to buy...that's us! Go #39...Go ARMY! Whoo0-Hoo!

What He can do!

This is my son, Ty. He is almost 9 years old and is the most amazing kid ever! I may be a bit biased as I am his momma! LOL...I am just about bursting at the seams with joy for this kiddo! He has over come so much in the few years he's been on earth and only because of God! Ty is special needs and has "out done" himself according to the world's standards! When he was small he was very ill and had some serious intestinal problems, and developmental issues. when Ty turned 3 his Dr. recommended early intervention to assess him...we pretty much had to let them or else we wouldn't be doing him any justice, right? NO! I was too young and naive to know better...I had Ty when I was 21. So, we "had" to put him in a preschool for "special needs" children. while we were there the teachers had him in all sorts of therapy's and Ty cried EVERY SINGLE DAY...it was awful. He went to that preschool when he was 3. During that same year he started to talk. He did have some serious issues, I'm not trying to downplay that Ty is a bit different from the "norm"...but to us and to God he was and still is just right! anyway, he would do what I call tripple talk...it would go something like this...."I like to play, play, play. "....the therapists and pshycologists said it would never stop....he only does it once in a while now.. He also would just say off the wall stuff at off the wall times and that would frustrate people, he still does that sometimes..He would really "BE" whatever character he was in to...like Bob the Builder. He really thought he WAS Bob...to an extreme I still to this day have never ever seen in any other child....it was strange to say the least. He still does that some, but he DOES understand he is NOT that character, but he IS Ty. They told me he would never use the toilet....it took until he was 5 & 1/2...but we got it! They told me he would never hold a pencil...he writes! You can barely read it (his hands don't work very well)...but he DOES it and we don't encourage him to write sloppy...he works HARD to make his hands do what HE wants them to do! They told me he would never have relationships with his peers....he has a friend and even has short play dates with him. They told me we HAD to get diagnoses for him, it just wouldn't be "right" to not label him. We bought into it for a short time...we got in a short time...ADHD, Asperger's, and they were working on diagnosing him with OCD...NO WAY~ we were done! Not to mention all the meds! It was horrible! He was on one med that made him stay awake for 56 hours! Yup, and he CRASHED in the middle of the day and momma still had to go the rest of the day...it was simply terrifying! We were DONE! We pulled him out of school ( we were homeschooling through a cyber school, and he was in the special ed there...they had therapists and such come to us through the school)....and God has worked so much in his life! Ty is Ty. He has social issues...he doesn't enjoy many people or to be the center of attention...you never know what will trigger things for him...he is very emotional. But, he leads a "normal" life...we have never bought into this garbage about how he CAN'T! who are "they" to decide what he can and cannot do?? Doesn't God do that? and God has done a rockin' cool job! Ty has done so much with his little life! He even got baptized in our pool...he wanted to, but couldn't get in front of the church...so he asked me to ask pastor to come and do it here with our family and relatives....he knows his own limits and is ok with them. He gets by and makes do. His hands give him such a hard time, but he plays computer, cooks, and build with nails & a hammer! Stop and get a mental picture and you will respect this so much more...here is my son, crouched on the floor...using his core muscles...holding a small nail with his hands that don't work...and at the same time pounding with a hammer...with hands that don't work...and he also has coordination issues! What a kid...he NEVER gives up and NEVER says "I CAN'T".....he knows God made him in His perfect image, and never seems to wonder why he's different...he accepts his lot in life. I need to step back and look at Ty for the amazing example he is. He walks tall and is proud of who God made him, even though the world tells him he is imperfect. I love this kid more than words can say!

Who Will it Be?

I have been spending much time in prayer over my children's future spouses. I feel it is SO important to remember to pray for the people our children will marry! We don't know who they will be, our oldest child is 11...so there's not even a hint yet. But we need to pray that the Lord will bless them with good christian people as mates. along with praying we are also teaching them that they are not to be unequally yolked....they should not marry an unbeliever. We are also praying about what our guidelines will be for courting...we are explaining to our girls we would like for them to remain at home under their father's leadership until they become married. This matter is so important and our kids futures need to be prayed over! I am so happy that we have such a loving God who through Jesus hears our prayers! I pray my children will grow close to the Lord and that they will let Him mold their lives...even now...even though they are young. I pray they will not let LUST get in the way of LOVE, and they will look deep into the heart of whom they chose to be with...do they love God? I pray the mate my children choose will have a good work ethic...they must put their hands to work for the Lord. I pray that the people they marry will have a love for the church...that they will love to go and fellowship with other believers! There are so many things to pray about concerning your children's future...and this is a big one! We should pray specifically... not just the little "shoot up"...."Um...hey, God...I hope my kid marries someone who's OK"....NO WAY! My kids are better than that! They DESERVE to have a prayer warrior praying for them! Join me in praying for your kids and the future that awaits them....pray specifically...God wants to hear from us :0)

I've Been Tagged

My friend Andrea, from Rightthinker (http://andreamomm.blogspot.com/) tagged me for a meme about my kitchen :0) Sounds like fun!

1) Do you have magnets on your frig?

Yes, we have 3, I think. One is pretty and the other two are measurement magnets for baking that my mom got for me for Christmas.

2) Do you have a calender in the kitchen, and if so, what's the theme?

Nope, I don't have one in the kitchen...my kitchen is small and doesn't have much wall space. I have my calender in the dining room, and it's has pretty nature pictures and scripture for each month. Ashley got it for me for Christmas :0)

3) What is your favorite kitchen gadget or tool?

My favorite kitchen tool is my pizza cutter! I use that sucker for almost everything that needs cut! It is so fast and easy to use...LOL...I would be LOST without it! Ok...maybe not LOST, but it is nice :0)

4) Are you lucky enough to have a pantry of some kind?

Yes, I am that lucky! LOL

I have a small built in pantry in the kitchen for baking supplies and then I have a large walk in pantry off of the dining room. It is a re purposed mud room...we have had to make rooms into other rooms....LOL...

5) What is your favorite appliance?

Hmmm.... I guess my coffee pot? I love them all so much! But I R.E.A.L.L.Y ...really....really....LOVE coffee :)

6) Do you have an eat-in kitchen?

No. Our kitchen is very small, but open. We eat in our dining room. It is right next to the kitchen...it's all open, so kind of maybe??

7) Do you have a breadbox?

We did, but recently we put it in the attic. we wanted the extra counter space. So, we now keep our bread in a cupboard. The breadbox we did use was one my husband made in high school!

8) Do you have pictures of your kids on the fridge?

Nope. My husband is a "neat nick" and can't stand "stuff" on the fridge...LOL..

9) Do you ever cook breakfast in your PJ'S

Not for the most part...but sometimes on the weekend I do :0)

Hey...taking it slow is a good thing from time to time, right?

10) Do you have a favorite cookbook?

Not a cookbook that I bought, but yes. When I was pregnant with my first child I took all of my MIL's cookbooks that had my husbands favorite recipes from when he was growing up and wrote them all in a notebook. This is the cookbook I most often use. But now, I mostly cook/bake from memory.

11) Are you lucky enough to have recipes that were passed down from grandmother to mother?

Some....

12) What's your favorite thing to cook?

I don't think I have a favorite thing to cook....I guess I would say anything that made my husband smile :0)

13) Is your coffee pot electric or stove top?

electric

14) Do you make your own bread?

I make bread often, but not for everyday. I make it to go with dinner a few times a week :0)

15) Does your kitchen have a theme?

Not really...It is very springy....it has lots of cream and light green...bright and cheery!

16) Is there a clock in your kitchen?

Yes...there are 4! One on the wall, the coffee pot, the oven, and the microwave! WOW!

17) Do you have a bowl of fruit on the table or counter?

NO! We have adopted 5 kids and one of them is a food hoarder, so we have a dead bolt on our pantry...all food is in there...and most leftovers get frozen to give away to another family right after dinner.

18) What type of canisters do you have?

none...not enough space!

19) Name one thing you have hanging on the wall in your kitchen?

I have a large cream colored metal heart from Hobby Lobby.

20) What's for supper tonight?

Not sure yet...we are kind of sick...maybe meatballs in the crock pot?

21) Do you have enough cabinet space?

We manage just fine. We don't have much...but I think if I had more, I would just fill it p with more stuff!

22) Does your family use paper plates?

On occasion....like when we get them free with pizza or something...and sometimes for picnics...but we don't buy them.

23) Do you have a good set of china packed up?

no...sadly, I do not.

24) Do you wear an apron to work in the kitchen?

Not as often as I should...but yes sometimes I do :0) I have the cutes apron made mt the Amish :0)

25) Name one thing you would change about your kitchen if you could?

Nothing :0) My husband and I just made over my little kitchen....so I am pleased with it!!

Don't Trust Them!

Rob and I were laying in our big King size bed after dinner with some of our littles, I think 5 of them were there...I had to run downstairs and do some things, but Rob stayed there. He was pretending to sleep...not a good idea! The kids look innocent and cute....but that's just a show...here's what happened to my poor husband...LOL....he was getting "tickled" by all sorts of little fingers...but it was really the equivalent of your skin getting torn off your face...lots of giggles and talk of "tickling Daddy's beard"...that should wake him up...nope. They move on to his feet...he just about tore his toe nail off, it's really sore...more giggles about how this would really work!....nope...he's a strong man....then "it" happened....the giggles got really loud, he was probly sweating bullets by now, wondering what they are gonna do next...Kyara (she's 6) says to Cyle (he's 5)..."go on Cyle, just put it right in his eye...that should do it!"....YIKES! They were right!! To save his eye, my loving man "woke up" and was the "tickle monster"! What fun!!

Proverbs 17:22

"A cheerful heart is good medicine,

but a crushed spirit dries up the bones "

I thank God for these fun and light moments, I NEED them...for my health. There are so many things right now that are heavy on my heart...we just figured out our oldest adopted daughter suffers from RAD (reactive attachment disorder), she's so hard to live with...I LOVE her SO much, but her little self is so broken...she needs God but HATES Him...that's enough for a broken mommy heart...I have been trying to get pregnant for a year with no succsess...ouch...especially after have a reversal done...lots and lots that I could let "get me down"...but my God is good...all the time! There is so much to be joyful about...and it's ALL from Him...what WE see as good and bad, it's ALL allowed by God..we just need to trust Him!

Today's Thoughts

Today I am thinking and learning much...also a few things to watch out for!
1. Thought: Blue painter's tape is NOT my friend....AT ALL!

2. Thought: Maybe home improvements should be left to my husband....lol...

3: Learning: We watched a video about astronauts and space ships!

4: Watch Out: We learned that to get to space the astronausts wear adult diapers....I made a mental note to hide ALL Pull-Ups!

5: Watch Out: There has already been talk of getting bikes to go fast like a rocket...

6: Learning: I need to always have Band-Aides on hand...this could get messy! LOL

Have a blessed day! Hope you are learning much & loving much along the way!! :)

Singing My Husbands Praises

I LOVE my husband for so many reasons...one is that he is so handy! He can fix just about anything! Our washer is old...about 14 years old. My husband used to work in a foundry and would come out B.L.A.C.K. from HEAD to TOE....and he also worked on a farm in the mornings for years...so our washed has taken alot of abuse. Our clothes were stinky right out of the washer and it was driving us crazy! He checked the whole machine and could find nothing wrong...but he is so frugal minded and resourceful he looked more into it and figured out that the inner drum needed a good cleaning....it was gross....so all that yucky stuff was getting in my wash every single time! YUCK! So, Rob worked for a few hours....spent $0...and fixed my washer :0) I now have great smelling wash....all thanks to the talent God has given my husband! I thank God for him ALL the time! What a blessing my husband is! I love to let him know just how much I love and appreciate him ;0)

More SNOW...are you kidding!

UGHHH....and know I hit those keys kinda hard...lol...we are going to be getting another foot of snow! We already have 6 inches since last night and the storm is supposed to last through the day and into tonight....SO SICK OF SNOW! There have been years we have had our garden tilled and peas in already! We are praying for no more snow! LOL

Spring Cleaning Has Begun!

I have started with my spring cleaning! I love it! I just hope i can actually get through the whole house this year! LOL...usually I fizzle out. I almost always start with the kitchen, but we just re-did our kitchen...so besides some minor stuff, it's already done! I finished the kitchen today and am on to the dining room :0) I have made a detailed list of things to be done and even some projects that I would like to do. Some rooms will get painted and re-decorated...so this could take me all of the summer. I am not one who enjoys being without a "home" project going...so this is fun for me :0) How's your spring cleaning going?

Menu

I have been really not doing very well with my menu plans as of late...so this tells me I must go back to writing them down...my brain is kinda fuzzy and not so creative right now...this was the best I could "come up with"! LOL

Breakfasts: cereal
fried eggs & toast
cereal or baked oatmeal
french toast & apples
dippy eggs & toast

Lunches: meat sandwich, applesauce & chips
toasted cheese & tomato soup w/ crackers
pb & j, fruit & crackers
spaghetti & garlic bread
some kind of sandwich, fruit & crackers

snacks: cookies (twice)
brownies
graham crackers
pb toast

Dinners: Shepard's pie & fruit
grilled hot dogs & hamburgers w/ fried potatoes
homemade pizza w/ veggies
homemade mac & cheese, biscuits, veggies
casserole, homemade bread, applesauce

Dessert: whoopie pies
mock apple pie

I need to organize my favorite meals and get some new and fresh ideas...any good ones??

Don't miss it!

I just had a conversation with my good friend today about her oldest son...he's doing "man" things on the farm now...he's growing up...FAST! Just the other day it seems as if he were 2 years old and telling me all about tractors and begging for pb & j....time goes by so quickly. It has hit me like a ton of bricks today....my kids will grow up. The days are now full of potty training, runny noses, teaching kids to share....but soon it will change. I want to REMEMBER to be intentional about holding tight to all of these moments, these memories....before they are gone. Someday they will not need me as much...someday they will make their own choices about important things....someday they will have more dangerous activities (like farming, hunting, mechanics...etc..)....my boys will grow and gravitate towards these things...with their father...I am so glad he is a good christian man who will train them in the ways of the Lord while teaching them these trades...and my girls will gravitate towards me and the skills I can teach them. Am I up for the job? Soon enough I will have to find out...these younger years matter and the training we do is just building up to when they are big...and independent....just mind blowing...who would have thought....I don't want to miss it!!

Sometimes It's Too Much

Sometimes it hits me like a ton of bricks....sometimes it seems too hard to even handle...I never expected to feel such grief...about the adoption. I am grieving so hard for the families lost to my kids. It may seem crazy....why aren't I just happy they are MINE? I am broken....right to the core. I mourn for my kids, I mourn for their birth parents...I worry about the future.... I wonder what REALLY happened to them....why are they scared, why are they mean...why are they hoarders...WHY? I feel torn up inside wondering what will come to be of their birth parents?? What will they feel if they get saved and finally realize what they had...and simply let slip right through their fingers?? What will happen when my kids are grown and want to see their birth parents again?? Will I lose them? Why....why do they blame us for being taken away? Can't they see we are just trying to help, love, and keep them safe? Of course not, they are children...and there's no place like home...good or bad. I wonder who they will look like when they grow....like their birth parents who abused them...will it be a constant reminder of what once was? Will they feel hurt and rejected as they learn the truth about their past life? will they FORGIVE? I pray they do...do I? How can I honestly forgive the pigs that hurt my babies?!? How can I forgive the selfishness of parents who neglected to change or feed my children?!? I simply can't. God can. My heart is a mish mash of emotions...some days it doesn't even seem real...the adoption. But, it IS real...these kids are my GIFT....the Bible says in Psalm 127:3 " Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him." It didn't say "birth children"....or "easy children"....or "mentally stable children"...or "well behaved children"....but simply CHILDREN are a reward....this means mine and yours...ALL of them. I wonder why their parents couldn't see that...I wonder what was more important than taking care of them? Surely if those thoughts run through my head, they are also running through my kids' minds as well. I don't have the answers to those questions for them...so they are left there...weighing us down. We need to leave those with God. Most of the time I can....sometimes not so much. they can't yet...the kids are too young, and it's too raw. Some of the kids have been upset lately because their memories of their families are fading...outsiders may see this as a "good thing"...being those memories are not safe and healthy ones...but they hold on to those...they hold on to the memory of "the one time we played"...in their little minds they can replay that memory and make it "feel" or "seem" like that was the normal for their family....in reality it was not. they convince themselves it was a "good" life and they had enough to eat...their bellies are not hungry now, so that feeling is a distant memory...not real anymore. They convince themselves that the sick "love" was not that bad...the pain is healing now...they convince themselves that it was OK to be left alone in the night or it wasn't so bad when mommy and daddy fought...but in reality there was blood and bruises galore...our minds are interesting places to be...as much as my kids are doing this type of thinking so are their birth parents. To hear them talk, everything was great and they were doing a stellar job of caring for the kids, and it's OUR fault the kids aren't with them. These thoughts can at times be all consuming...to me...but thankfully they don't consume God...He's so good. these are the thoughts and prayers of my heart...which are now being left at the foot of the Cross.

Rip Off!

ARGG! We are re-doing our floor in the kitchen....it's a LOONNGG story...but this is the second time in 3 days our flooring has been torn up...our sub-floor fixed and we have had to buy flooring twice! EEK! anyway....the rip off is this...I went to Lowe's in a rush...the floor guy is coming tomorrow to lay the flooring and we still have repair work to do...another LOONNGG story...lol...so...I go to buy a gallon of floor patch for $25....they had none...but they did have quart size containers of the stuff I needed...for $10 a pop! WOW! I needed 4 of them to get the job done...so instead of paying $25, I had to pay $40! Makes me mad...such a rip off...same stuff...same amount bought....NOT the same price! UGH....Can't wait to have this project done!

Simple Things

It was time for me to buy new clothes....yuck! This is not my favorite thing to do...AT...ALL! I am not a "thin" woman....I'm not rolly-polly either....just "plump"...I am also particular about how things fit and how they look...not meaning trendy style, but modesty. We have a few rules about clothes here in our family...no shoulders, no knees, and nothing tight. Trying to find clothes in today's world is not so easy! I can't stand it when my pants gap at the waist or when they fall down when I bend or squat...ARGG! I am always very prayerful about where God wants me to be as far as dress is concerned...and I do not feel led to wear only skirts...there...I said it. Each and every one of us needs to do what we feel the Lord is telling us to do, and that's what I feel. Either way, we are to be modest and feminine in our appearance.
Little man had another Dr. apt last night and he still is very sick (pneumonia)...we had to go to Walmart and wait for 2 more meds...while we were waiting I had time to do a bit of shopping. I tried on about 700 pairs of pants and finally found two that I liked :0) It sometimes takes me months to find pants I like, so I was happy...then I found 6 shirts that were modest and feminine. I also bought 2 pair of shoes that were cute and servicable. This may sound like a shopping spree...but I had already been to our thrift shop and found nothing. I only spent about $100...so it was OK.
My title of this post was "Simple Things"....what I mean by that is this.... no matter what you wear (pants/skirts) you can be feminine and pretty...weather you are large or small, it can be done. Yes, I would LOVE to be thinner and healthier...we are always working on this...but right now I am not. So, just by wearing pretty colors, cute but functionable shoes (meaning for me, cute sneakers..lol...)and doing a little something different with your heair each day ( just small variations make you feel better, I think) makes you appear and feel more feminine. We are women and it's a gift. I want to teach my daughters to love pretty things and embrace who they are. Sometimes I see young girls who want to act like boys. This bothers me. Yes, my girls and myeslf ride fourwheelers and camp and garden and cut fire wood...we have poopy boots and take care of animal chores...just like the boys do...but we need to try to have a feminine "way" about us while we do these things. We have cute work gloves, I teach them to sit like a lady...yup, we can sit on a tree stump or fallen log with the best of 'em....but they will keep their legs closed while doing so! They catch bugs and frogs...but they "act" like ladies while doing it. Where did it come to be that being girly was bad? My oldest daughter had a very hard time embracing her girly-ness...she hated being a girl...and at times still does. It wasn't until recently she understood all the teaching she was being given...she was playing with a boy and he kept roughing her up and she hated it! She told him to stop and that she was a girl and to not hit her! LOL...she loves American Girl dolls, tea parties, and being pretty. I'm not talking vanity...but taking care of ourselves.
So, these are the things that are on my heart concerning the simple things :0)

Mom's Tools

I have a few things that I use ALL the time...they are my favorite things....the things I couldn't "live" without...LOL...
1. My Bible....of course to study, grow, and teach!

2. My Muck boots....they are so tall, warm, and dry! They are the best chore boots ever! I "share" my pair with my two oldest kids...really they just steal 'em from me! LOL

3. My pizza cutter....I use it to cut pretty much everything the kids eat! I can cut up a pancake, waffle, fried egg...etc...in no time at all!

4. My "jump rope"... I have a bright blue jump rope that has funky polka dot ribbons tied on...one end of the rope has a big loop to go around my arm or just to hang onto...then the littles hang on to the loops and we are safe and sound as we shop...the rule is to not let go of the rope...no matter what...and we have really made out very well with this method :0)

5. Mt timer...I use my timer for TONS of stuff...fixing the coal fire, kids reading, kids math, my computer time, chores, cooking...etc...it's so very handy!

Those are only 5 of the things that make my day easier and more organized (at least in my head!)...what are your favorite "tools"??

God's Deliverance!

The little man pictured in my last post is so sick...and God is so good and delivered my young son from death yesterday. Little man always gets respiratory problems when he gets sick...and we give him a few nebulaizor treatments and all is well. Yesterday was worse that it had ever been...his eyes were purple underneath and pouring water...he could barely breathe. I was doing his treatments and praying for healing over him...then he couldn't breathe...AT ALL! It was terrifying! I tried for over a minute to get my Little man to breath again...finally by taking him out in the cold air his airway opened enough for him to breath. Later I took him to the Dr. for further treatment. As soon as they saw him they were concerned...taking his pulse, it was RACING...he had a fever...and still could barely breath! Right away they gave him steroids and 2 heavy duty breathing treatments... The Dr. told me it was very serious and I should take him to the Er...then decided against it. They sent us home with 4 Rx's! The Dr. told me to stay awake all night and watch him, and to give him breathing treatments every 3 hours, as he could stop breathing. It was VERY scary until about 2 am....he would sit straight up in our bed and try to scream and grab at his throat because he couldn't breath well. At about 2 am his fever broke and he settled in...he seems ok toady. The Dr. called before 7:00 am this morning to make sure he was Ok....talk about a great Dr!! She told me to expect bad nights for a short while as she thinks his breathing will get worse at night. So we are going to continue to watch him VERY closely! It was the most scary mommy moment I have EVER had...when he couldn't breath..I was screaming out to God to spare my son...it's not like he was choking and we could dislodge something....his airway was shut...to see his little face looking at me with wild eyes....it seemed like it was FOREVER! It was a long time though...it was long enough for me to scream, cry, pound his back (pointless, I know, but it was a reaction) and get him outside and then it wasn't right away that he was breathing...in this time my daughter had enough time to call her dad at work! Talk about seeing God...He gives and He takes away. I really do see this for the truth that it is.. there was no rhyme or reason to why He spared my Little man's life...He could have brought him home...but He let him stay with my for who knows how long....I see now we have no time limit...or no unlimited time to spend...His sovereignty is amazing....He shows me little by little who He really is...and it makes me stand in awe! I thank God .

I CAN do it!

These are the pictures my oldest daughter (11) took of her little brother while she was "helping" him get dressed after breakfast....that explains the messy face..lol....He insisted...." I CAN do it!"....not yet, little man! Good try!

You Know It's Time...

You know it's time to buy new socks when your 4 yr old daughter comes and says to you that her sock has too many holes and she can't move it around so her heel doesn't come out! LOL...

Confessions and Repentance

Proverbs 28:13

" He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."

God gives us just what we need when we need it...during my prayer time this morning I was asking God to forgive me of my sins, but I seemed to just "lump" them all together...things have been busy and I realized that I was not confessing and asking for forgiveness at the TIME I committed sin....you know, snapped at someone, had a mean or judgmental thought...things like this...I know how wrong it is to not confess right away and ask forgiveness...but have fallen out of the "habit", so to speak. God brought me this verse this morning...and I am thankful :0)

What Kind Of Wife Am I?

Proverbs 21:9
"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."

I have asked myself this question lately..."What kind of wife am I?" I pray daily that the Lord will show me how to be a better wife to my wonderful husband. Recently we have been having a hard time with some of our adopted kids and I have been a bit in the "dumps"...he said to me last night, that he NEEDED me to be OK, that he NEEDED me to be happy and not upset or even depressed...he NEEDS to be able to come home to a cheerful wife, not a perfect home, or well behaved kids...but a well behaved ME! WOW! He even offered to cook dinner, do wash, care for kids so I can have a break...of course, I will not have him do those things...he just worked HARD for 10 hours! But, my point is, that's how much he NEEDS me....he really does, it is important to him to have my attention, for me to have a joyful attitude, and not a selfish way about me. I can no longer go around thinking how "hard" things are for ME....my eyes are to focus on God and what He has blessed me with. I get so wrapped up in my own life and just brought my husband down too! It really opened my eyes as to another part of my role as wife...he needs for me not to just "do" things...be needs me to "be" something...and that is a Godly wife! Yes, we still have issues in life and always will...but I need to put them where they belong. This wife has learned her lesson and will make sure my husband has what he needs....a cheerful wife!

What Our Day Looks Like

It has been a few weeks since we started back with trditional homeschooling, after doing a charter school at the beginning of the year. Our days are running much better now :0) We were having a lot of issues with timing and getting thngs done and keeping kids on task. Another big problem I had was knowing what to do with all the little kids...they were mostly running "wild" while I was trying to get everything the charter school required done. We are much happier now. I thought I would give you a peek at what our new schedule looks like.

8:00 breakfast
8:30-9:00 chores
9:00-9:15 or so is devotions as a family
9:15-11:00 the big kids all have folders with the work they can do on their own (spelling, grammar, writing, math, and reading) During this time I have all 6 small ones with me...we do circle time where we sing and read books, then we go to the table and we all do lessons together and on special occasions we all watch a PBS kids show and then do a coloring sheet to go with it.
11:00-11:30 lunch
11:30-12:45 break time
12:45-1:00 clean up time for all
1:00-3:00 little ones rest/nap while big ones sit at the table with me and I do a read aloud and then a comprehension sheet we make up ourselves, science (M & T) and social studies and civics (W & Th), during this time we do other things we "want" to do...at the moment we are doing a poetry unit. We watch movies that go along with our subjects and read lots of books and take notes...we draw tons of pictures in our notebooking...
Things are going SO much better, I really like the "schedule" we are on! things happen and we don't always stick to the time of everything...but most days we do!
Fridays are different...we do art, gym, spelling tests, library trips, cooking/baking, and any field trips...things like that! I am working on fitting it "all" in, but feel so much more freedom at what to teach and do...it's great!

Raw Pain

It seems to be everywhere....this raw pain. I went to a celebration of life on Saturday...what a time to celebrate the birth of a sweet little life....but within this joy was so much pain. Strange. We ( a whole bunch of ladies from church) were there to celebrate...there was a young, newly married girl, who just had a miscarriage...the shower was for her best friend. There was another young woman, the guest of honor's sister, who recently found out she can not carry a child and has miscarriages...there were older ladies who had lost babies, ladies who wished they had had more children, ladies who lost their husbands and all they have to hold are their children...and the guest of honor's own mother had lost a daughter when she was only 4...and then there was myself...I had a tubal reversal almost a year ago...and no pregnancy yet. At the time of the shower I was 2 months late...too frightened to take a test, but was believing I was pregnant...and then Sunday morning got my period. My pain is so raw. My arms ache for a new little one....but God says not now. His timing is always perfect...He's right on time...He makes no mistakes. As I pray and think of all these other women, and another friend of mine who is struggling, I wonder how they "are"...praying the pain is not too much. We need to lean on the Lord in times such as these...He is our strength and we are to be content where we are RIGHT NOW...we can not make deals and say I'll be happy when God gives me a baby...no...we are to find our joy in the Lord and our salvation...not in our situation. My heart goes out to all ladies who are struggling with loss...loss to death, loss to miscarriage, or an empty womb. I feel your pain.

Living With Kids!

My husband spent a whole bunch of time re-doing the leaf in our dining table...while the polly was still drying he said to all of us..." DO NOT TOUCH THE TABLE!!"...needless to say within a few hours we had many little hand prints, a fingernail scratch, and about a dozen cat paw prints! LOL....my poor husband :0)

This morning, I had to call all boys together...they were all lined up....looking guilty....I asked them who peed all over the bathroom floor...the big ones looked relieved...hubby said...I'm glad I'm off the hook this time....little boys looked at each other and then the youngest boy told that it was him....then the oldest daughter comes out and told me that "Oh yeah...he told me about that...huh...I guess I didn't believe him!" GEESH!

Living with kids!!!

Snow

We have had so much snow this winter. The kids worked so hard this week, making pathways to the chicken coop, shoveling, making a way to the playhouse...things like that. Last night when they came in, I looked out and saw all the evidence of a fun day! This morning when I looked out it was a different scene for sure! The ground had a fresh blanket of snow...covering all the pathways and little footprints...the barn roof had it's beautiful covering of white glimmering snow, our homemade barn star was gorgeous! Then I thought of how upset I would be if I were the kids, all the work they just put into things this week....gone. This is my mind. I also thought of the horses, they just stand there....covered in snow and ice...I felt so sad for them. In reality, they have a warm and dry barn they can go into at any time....they chose to stand out in the weather...they must not mind. This is my mind. when my kids woke up all you could hear was delightful giggles and talk about how deep the snow was...how far up their little legs it would go...how much fun they would have digging out again...the minds of children are so much more positive than mine. It just amazed me at their joy, even though all they worked so hard on was gone....it reminds me that the Lord wants us to count it all as joy. I learned something important from my kids today...

What I'm Learning

This has been such a time of learning and growth as of late. I know we always grow and learn because God is the best teacher...and He is really working on me. It is SO hard to raise abused kids. I will never understand them. We have done foster care and took care of abused kids for 8 years now, and have done oodles of trainings and classes....but these kids are not all the same. Whatever these kids have gone through is a part of them, it makes them who they are. I don't think that most of them actually remember what happened to them in detail (one of mine DOES)...but it's still "in" them, does that make sense? These kids do not know the Lord as their Savior...yet. So, they don't lean on Him, and pull from His strength...they fight...HARD! One of my children has been B.A.D. EVERY SINGLE DAY....ALL DAY LONG.....since the beginning of October when she found out her oldest birth sister was moving to Virginia with an aunt. Her sister is not a safe person to live with, so she can't live here....her abuse created her to be a predator. This has made my daughter confused, lonely, and most of all MAD! She blames me for her not living with her birth family... I mean, her dad said that he loved her while hurting her....that's love right? It is soooo sad! She is pushing away...and I mean PUSHING away our love.... a healthy and good love, regular love,,,the kind parents and children are supposed to have...not the sick and abusive love she is used to. She pushes and is soo awful mean, she does this with tears in her eyes, she doesn't WANT to do this...I know she doesn't...but hate wins out...every day. We beg, pray, cry, talk....and nothing changes. So, what am I learning....I am learning that I have anger issues and am also learning to have patience. It makes me angry when she is so mean to me and my other kids....it makes me angry that she is hateful all the time...but my loving and patient God is still working on me...and He has shown me...it's not about ME...it's about her pain. Yes, it is so hard to live with....this is the reason she has bounced from home to home....but it's not about me....it doesn't have to be easy for me...anger just makes it worse, what example does that set? This week the behavior has spread like wild fire! All 5 adopted kids are acting the same hateful way! It has been the hardest week of my life! I have had a few not so proud moments where I let anger overcome me...but my forgiving and gracious Father has shown me again and again...to calm down and be patient! Yesterday, 2 of the five we well behaved. The other 3 were not. One was standing in time out until 9:00 pm last night! During this time my son needed to stand the proper way....he refused to do so until 9:00 pm! He broke 2 doors throwing fits! I got mad at first, and then God got ahold of me...and my husband and I prayed and talked...and we just left the room (he was not throwing a fit any longer, but still not standing the proper way) and we would just check with him every few minutes, talk it over with him so he understood this was not acceptable behavior and we are the boss so he must obey...he would say "no"...so we left him alone. He did not win....we "won"....he realized we are "the boss"...but there was no yelling or anything that would not please God (remember, I did have a few bad moments, but asked for forgiveness). I don't know why he's acting this way....he may not even know why he's acting this way....but he is. and I have to deal with it...patiently. So, God is teaching me patience. I pray that these little ones let God into their lives, but until then, the only example they have is my husband and I and my older saved children...I'm so glad He's still working on me!

"He's still working on me
to make me what I ought to be
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars
the sun and the earth
Jupiter and mars
how loving and patient He must be!
He's still working on me!"